Hmm... I think people perceive me in such a different way than I am. That's what I don't get. I guess its cuz I say what I want, when I want without caring too much about what people think..and of course, they always take it in the worst way possible. My myspace was my "adult" page where I didn't care much what I put on there cuz it was only my SD friends til later when Taylor got one. But with my facebook, I try not to put a lot of that stuff on there cuz even though at work me and my friends use it a lot...I love being able to see what my nieces and nephews are up to. I talk about guys, but not sleeping with them or anything. I am only "with" William and have only been with William for almost a year since we got back together last August...so I talk about guys...but I am not being "with them" other than just that...hanging out, laughing, watching sports, talking sports, etc. And thats mostly cuz I hate what drama girls bring. Every female friend I have had is jealous of every girl they see, negative in every aspect of life, and quite frankly we just don't have much in common. I like sports and being active all the time and they like makeup, hair, nails, and looking pretty. We just don't get along so I hang out with guys who don't judge, aren't jealous and negative, etc. They are just more fun to be around.

I haven't drank in two months. I take that back... I sipped on a drink William bought when he didn't know I stopped drinking when we were watching the championship game. But I don't drink anymore. I never have drank much...but now I just don't drink. Its expensive, a waste of money, and I get sick of babysitting my friends cuz I'm the one who won't get wasted. It might not be forever, but its for now. My friends were actually kinda mad I didn't want to drink and party on my birthday. When I go to the pool, I drink daquiris, pina coladas, and mudslides...non-alcoholic mix anyone can buy at cvs. And I enjoy it just as much as a beer. And I have taken a liking to a root beer and a jamaican ginger beer (both obviously non-alcoholic) that I recently tried.

I try not to swear or say crude things...my problem is where my friends might say something or I might say something on their page which is where my niece figured out I was thinking of doing a nipple piercing. I like piercings and I always tell William its because I know if I ever want a family and kids, I can take them out and "grow up" without any pain of removal. They don't bother him either so he is okay with me getting them.

Anyways, my 13 yr old niece decided she was too good for me and I actually thought she was being a teen brat. She told her mom that I offend her with my talk about sex, boys, and alcohol. Oh...and I have pictures of me and beer. I would like to slap her, quite frankly. But if I offend her, its probably best that she did that. I try my hardest to live my life without judgement of anyone...the one thing I have loved San Diego for..cuz I love everyone...no matter their race, the religion, their stature, their language (well...mostly on that one..haha) but its something I can't say enough how much I have appreciated learning. People in Idaho "love everyone" cuz God says to...and are Christlike...and all that. YEAH RIGHT! Just like I heard my mom say last night on the phone, "Sandra is probably over at the spray park with her kids in a bikini." and she said it all rude. Really?!?! Cuz nobody had a problem with her wearing them when she was married to Adam...but lets throw a fit now! STUPID!!!!! Yeah...not a fan of people judging others. Take care of yourself. Get yourself to heaven or hell or where YOU want to go. This shit pisses me off. I wanted to hang up the phone on my mom but I am so sick of fighting, that I'll just turn a blind eye and not fight. And my niece...I'mma block her from facebook so she can't see me at all. The damn brat who already thinks she is better than me!

I don't know...people can think what they want of me, I guess. They always will. But I don't think I am a bad example cuz of piercings or having fun. For the things that are important in life...making a difference... I think I ace it. My family is disappointed in me...but people I meet are amazed by me. I helped a girl with her kids at a concert the other night. It was her and 4 kids...they were trying to see and running around and finally I asked if I could put one on my shoulders. She agreed so for the rest of the night, her 3, 4, and 5, yr old kids were hanging on me and she was able to watch the 1 yr old. She didn't care about anything but where my heart was. I went to New Orleans and one day as I was walking down the street, I stopped and played basketball with a kid in their driveway. I sat and rebounded for him for a good 20 minutes and I was his new best friend. He didn't care about anything but that I was nice to him..and neither did his parents. I saw two kids on the street who were crying and took them home. Their mom had left them alone..a 2 and 3 yr old. I knocked on the neighbors door and told her I found them over by the highway and wanted them to be safe. She thanked me and didn't care about anything but my heart. Dora invites me with her kids...and every single time I hang out with them, Emily asks, "Christy, why do you have an earring in your tongue?? I don't like it." I always say, "I don't know Emily. Never do it...it hurts really bad (even tho it didn't hurt at all) and you always hurt your teeth on it (even tho I have never bit down on it). And Dora doesn't hate me...she still lets me see them cuz she knows I have a good heart. I am getting involved in things that I hope. Every organization I have been volunteering at wants me to stay on permanent. They offer to pay me almost every time I go donate my time. They love my outgoing personality and my need to always have fun. I am getting into an organization that works with handicap kids. I actually get to do something I have always dreamed up...work on a horse ranch with kids. I hope I can make a difference in these kids lives.

Whats really sad is... if I died today... my friends and coworkers I have met along the way would have a hundred times more good things to say about me than my family. I don't know what to think of that. Is it good they hold high standards and think that since I don't meet them, then they can look down on me... or is it bad that they can't look past religion and see someones heart???

My family continues to be a joke. My brother is on drugs and such a great kid...but I don't know where I went wrong. I actually can't tell you whats wrong with me other than I don't go to church and pretend to be someone I am not. Instead of spending my Sundays at church listening to a preacher, I'm at a horse ranch helping handicap kids. hmm... Yup, I'm going straight to hell... who wants to go with me?!?